Fear Is Not Quiet

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Fear Is Not Quiet, oil paint on paper, 22.5 x 30 in. (24 x 36 in. framed), 2018.

Through art I record my observations of the world around me, so that I can learn more about what I’m seeing and make sense of it. A found photonegative of myself as a child, afraid, inspired me to explore the concept of fear. I had no memory of this moment or context in order to understand this photo. All I could see was myself, backed up against a wall, hands to my face, afraid. I wanted to paint this emotion not just with the expression on my face, but through colour to show the intensity of the emotion. Fear is not a quiet emotion that can easily be ignored or hidden; it’s loud and demands attention. Your brain becomes hyper alert causing your heart to beat faster, pupils dilate, breathing accelerates, and you start to sweat and tremble, heat rushes to your face, or you experience chills. You feel faint, butterflies in your stomach, ringing in your ears, numbness or a sensation of pins and needles, and you feel confused and disoriented. These overwhelming feelings of anxiety can be very frightening and distressing to experience, so much so that people can develop a fear of fear itself because of these intense emotion and physical reactions. But experiencing fear is unavoidable and can occur suddenly and without warning.

Where it's been: This piece was exhibited in 2019 as part of the Winter Showcase Artist Exhibition at 1313 Gallery in Toronto Canada.